Here is the next installment of OITNB episodic reviews. Enjoy -- and if you're still not finished this season, catch up already!
Episode 7 (Comic Sans): Black Cindy wasn't a big character last season, but she's pushed to the forefront in season two, and in this episode, we get some backstory on the sassy and fearless inmate. Through flashbacks, we learn Cindy hasn't changed much in prison; she was still the over-the-top loudmouth she is now. She used to be a TSA agent, which provides for some funny moments, and although we never see what exactly Black Cindy ended up going to jail for (we do see her rummaging through luggage and stealing an iPad), the biggest reveal of the hour is that Cindy's sister, whom she comes to visit on her birthday, is actually her daughter, unbeknownst to the little girl. Cindy's irresponsibility to raise the child on her own is questioned by her mother, and it adds some depth to the still-childish-herself character. Elsewhere in this episode, Vee continues her path toward becoming the most loathsome (but at the same time, awesome) villain on TV as her tobacco operation gets going, but has "her girls" doing most of the work. Piper and the other inmates launch their newsletter, which continues some hidden messages about the COs and workers at the prison. Meanwhile, Piper's ex-fiancè and her best friend, Polly, give into temptation and begin their affair, which elicits a chorus of "UGH"s from me. Also, Fischer finds out that Daya is pregnant, meaning its only a matter of time before that secret surfaces and the "ish" really hits the fan.
Episode 8 (Appropriately Sized Pots): Rosa continues her move to the big leagues as we get a whole episode focused on her. It's an appropriate, but also tragic, parallelism to Rosa's present day activities (chemotherapy) with her flashbacks (bank robbing). It turns out Rosa was a little bit of a badass who has bad luck with men (the men she loves die, so that's good) and also doesn't know when to say no (which ultimately leads to her arrest). And while Rosa learns that the chemotherapy isn't working and her time is limited, her curse ultimately seems broken when a teenage boy she befriends in chemo (they steal money from a nurse together -- charming!) finds out he is in remission. For a story about a cancer-stricken bank robber being given a death sentence, we actually get a sort of a happy ending. What's happening with everyone else? Piper has been granted furlough to visit her dying grandmother, somehow, as Healy continues his quest of being my least favorite character on literally any television show ever (am I alone in just hating this guy?!). Healy, who can never decide if he loves Piper or despises her, gets her furlough granted, and when Piper tries to decline after getting harassed by the other inmates (Suzanne throws a pie at her head -- classic Suzanne), he becomes the human equivalent of a popcorn kernel stuck in your tooth and refuses. To end the story on an even more depressing note, Piper calls to inform her mother that she has been granted furlough only to find out that grandma is already dead. Fischer gets fired by Caputo who has to deal with pressure from Fig, who is the only other character challenged Healy for the title of "Literally Just the Worst Ever." It's a shame Fischer doesn't have time to tell Caputo that she knows about Daya's pregnancy, but that won't stay a secret much longer. But it's all okay because in the end, a replacement for Fischer is needed and found in the form of...you guessed it...Pornstache! I can't lie and say I didn't cheer out loud when he got out of his car. How I've missed you, Pablo Schrieber...
Episode 9 (40 Oz of Furlough): Ah, outside world, I'd almost forgotten what you'd looked like. It's time to follow Piper as she heads out, briefly, into the real world on furlough for the funeral of her grandmother. And while grandma's funeral is front and center, there's a lot else for her to tackle. For starters, Red asks Piper to visit her restaurant and make sure things are running smoothly. Well, it turns out they aren't running at all, as the restaurant is now up for sale. At the funeral, while dodging questions from guests asking why she's not in jail, the awkward meter is dialed up to a hundred when Piper's brother and his fiancé get married...at the funeral. WHAT?! Oh, and if that's not awkward enough, Larry and Piper start hooking up in the bathroom at the funeral reception, but Larry confesses that he slept with someone else (without saying it's Polly, but still not great timing, Larry). But surprisingly, an episode heavily focused on Piper doesn't feature her flashbacks, but rather we get some intel on the beginning of the complicated Vee-Red relationship. Vee was already in the slammer when Red first arrived and convinced our firecracker Russian friend to use her outside connections, but as Red's power in the prison grew, so did Vee's anger, until finally Vee had her girls (the originals, not the ones we know and love currently) take care of Red...that is to say, they beat the crap out of her. What a complicated relationship indeed. But while Vee was on top back then, and until she got out of prison before her latest sentence (we still don't know how that happened), Red is working her way back to the throne at present-day Litchfield, and she finally gets the forgiveness of her prison family for last season's mishaps. One person not present, though, is Big Boo, who we find out is instead working with Vee. That's not gonna go over well. Vee probably doesn't care, though, because she's just out doing what she does best: being an ax wound and ruining lives. This week, she seemingly takes aim at Nicky, after her girls push heroin on a clean Nicky, who looks like she just might consider giving in. Fight the power, girl! Finally, as teased in the last episode, Pornstache is back and literally worse than ever, which is great news for us. Yes, I hate mean characters like Healy and Fig, but how do you not love Pornstache?! The pressure of Pornstache's return, mixed with guilt, causes Bennett to totally flip out on the inmates and irrationally tell Caputo that Daya is pregnant with Pornstache's child. GULP.
The end of the season is in sight and we're building up to a big finish not unlike the strong last string of episodes from season one. I'm hoping to have the final episode reviews posted tomorrow or Friday with a final overview of the season! Check back then...
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